Oddly, I don’t miss you as much as I thought I would. Maybe it really was nothing more than a simple summer fling. But there are still times when I highlight your username on my contact list, hoping that you’d message just to say hi. You’re kind of terrible at keeping in touch. Maybe I do miss you afterall.
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Smitten.
I never thought I’d feel this way again.
Okay, that’s a little dramatic to say, but now I understand what people mean when they say that best things are unexpected. I don’t know if it’s a little premature, or even appropriate, to call this a ‘budding relationship’, but it’s definitely headed in the right direction (well, apart from the fact that he’ll be leaving in a little over a month to go back to college and still has 3 more years to go). For the meanwhile, he’s made me very happy and this euphoria brought on by mutual infatuation has made me experience feelings I haven’t felt in a very long time.
We met two months ago through a mutual friend of mine, a guy he goes to college with. Alcohol was flowing, he was there with some of his high school friends, I was there with a few of my own friends. I remember the first thing I noticed about him was how cute he looked. I even made it a point to tell our mutual friend – whom I’ll call KL – several times throughout the course of the night how I’m attracted to his friend (in secrecy, of course, although by the end of the night it was apparent that our attraction was mutual). As the hours passed, our friends started leaving for home one by one. KL, he, and I were the final ones standing. Being the incredible wingman that he is, KL decided to leave the club to give us some alone time. We were dancing, drinking, and before long, that progressed to kissing and major PDA.
Here’s a little something you should know about me. When I meet someone of the opposite gender, I usually classify them into one of two lists: 1) if there is hook up/relationship potential, or 2) if there is no interest from my end (which is rarely ever subject to change, sorry guys). If they happen to be in list 1, and I sense that there is mutual interest, I tend to actively.. well, not pursue, but I’d make it obvious that I want something to happen between us. I’m an impatient girl and I don’t like playing the “I’m going to act coy and shy so he’ll think I’m not desperate and hope that in time he’ll chase after me instead” game. So in other words, I can either be incredibly easy to win over (which sounds really bad but isn’t because I don’t believe in multiple crushes at a time; I’m a monogamous infatuist, if that even makes sense) or there’d be no chance at all, depending which list the guy happens to be in. For this, I have been told that I have the mentality of a guy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being straightforward and knowing what I want. But I digress – my point is, this boy was definitely in the former category, and I was hoping with all that I had that there’d be some degree of physical validation that what I felt for him was mutual.
And it was. It didn’t take long for us to leave the club with my hand in his, and the next thing I know, we were on a cab headed towards his place. I’ll spare you the details, but after that night, I didn’t expect much else to follow. That’s one thing that really upsets me about the whole hook up culture since if you recall my previous paragraph, it may be incredibly easy for me to feel attracted to a guy, but when I do, I almost always hope that something meaningful will come out of it (which I guess is an oxymoron since hooking up is synonymous with moving too fast, which then is a big problem in itself). Obviously, that’s not the case with our morally broken society, and I have learned to accept this fact after trial and error. So I go home, waited a few days to add him on facebook, he messaged to apologize in case he was an ass in any way (he wasn’t) and that was that.
Fast forward three weekends, and we were having the best conversations in bed about literally anything and everything with frequent intervals of such easy and comfortable sex when I sleptover three nights in a row. It felt like we’d known each other for a long time already. There was no such thing as ‘awkward’ in our relationship. Given the circumstances of how we met and what followed, I was definitely (very pleasantly) surprised. Hook ups don’t turn into something more. How did I get so lucky? That long weekend, we looked through his book collection, gone through his old yearbooks, even talked about our past relationships and breakups, things that are normally considered taboo conversation topics for pillow talk with someone you’re just hooking up with. I kiss him and I feel sparks. Sparks! I never even knew that was possible – I always thought that it was something that only happened in movies. Just the thought of us being close gives me this tingly, fuzzy, electrifying energy that rushes through my body. I don’t think I even felt sparks kissing B, or if it did, I don’t remember it. The idea of something so effortless yet so emotionally and physically gratifying satisfies me so much, I have no words for it. No, satisfy is an understatement – my heart hasn’t felt this light in a long time, and I’m pretty sure it’s shown on my face for the past few weeks.
Now, I’ve met his friends and he’s met mine. All of my friends, including B’s friends, like him. It’s ridiculous. Even the ones who initially gave me shit about him being 18 and still a sophomore in college end up telling me that their first impression of him wasn’t what they expected. I find this and the fact that he has impressed every single one of my friends so incredibly sexy. One of B’s closest friends has even mentioned that he hasn’t seen me this happy in a very long time, which made me smile even more. His friends and I get along pretty well too. Last week, we had dinner at his best friend’s place with her boyfriend and her family. I also met his oldest sister at the dinner table the Sunday of the aforementioned long weekend. I don’t know where we stand in our relationship, but so far it’s been mindblowing. At the rate we’re going, I look forward to the remaining month and do hope that this will lead to something deeper, something more pronounced. It would be such a waste for such an instant amazing chemistry to fizzle because of a factor like physical distance, but then again, he broke up with his ex for the same reason. I can’t believe how much my mentality has changed since the first time we hooked up. At first I was sure that this would just be summer fun with an expiry date, but the more time we spend together, the more I hope that we can make something out of this. Afterall, we have discussed tentative plans for me to visit him at college and we’ve offhandedly talked about meeting the parents to make sleeping over easier.
I hope I don’t jinx this by making it sound like more than what it really is. And I’ve always been the kind of girl who wants clarification, who needs to know if it’s all or nothing, yet with him, our dynamic has been so comfortable and natural that I don’t feel the urge to impose an ultimatim even though I know the clock is ticking fast (one month isn’t very much time left). I’ve even surprised myself. At this point, I guess only time can tell but for now, baby, you’ve got me smitten like no other.
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Staircase for Brains
“The French term “l’esprit de l’escalier,” which translates literally as “the wit of the staircase,” refers to those perfect, clever comebacks that you only think of after the fact.”
Thank you, LiveJournal homepage, for finally giving me a name for the thing I experience on a daily basis but have no idea what to call.
More from Wikipedia:
L’esprit de l’escalier (stairway wit) is the sense of thinking of a clever comeback when it is too late. The phrase can be used to describe a riposte to an insult, or any witty, clever remark that comes to mind too late to be useful—when one is on the “staircase” leaving the scene. The phenomenon is usually accompanied by a feeling of regret at having not thought of the riposte when it was most needed or suitable.
Originally a witticism of Denis Diderot, the French encyclopedist, in his Paradoxe sur le Comédien.
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Nastia Liukin for Max Azria SS09
Flowy dresses + my favorite sport showcased by my favorite Olympian from 08? Wow, Max Azria, you sure know just how to appeal to my attention. I’ve never been big on fashion, but I think I just found my favorite campaign ever.
Source: www.maxazria.com/spring2009
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Tags: contortion, Fashion, gymnastics, Nastia Liukin
Job hunting.
Since the last time I’ve updated, several things have happened. Let’s see: I graduated from university, people have come back and gone for winter break, I’ve turned 22, but oh yeah, I still don’t have a full-time job.
Illustrator boy had his art show opening two weeks ago, and I think the collective effect of that and my meet-up with a friend of a friend who’s really well-connected in the PR industry (and the subsequent cover letter writing/resume updating) has got me thinking that I’m starting to fall behind on my career path. I’ve been so comfortable with sleeping in and my lifestyle of being the ultimate post-college bum that I haven’t really thought about what I want to do with my life next for the previous months, it took something like IB’s show opening to get my ass in gear. Most of my friends are pretty ambitious about what they want to do when they graduate. Actually, that’s not entirely true but I know B wants to work in New York when he’s done with school, Jul is well on his way to becoming the barrister that he wants to be (speaking of which, I should probably go visit him in Oxford before he’s done), and most, if not all, of IB’s friends are young professionals. Why does the economy have to fuck up this year? It almost makes me want to just apply for MA Communications and hide out for a year til it gets better, which I probably would do if HKBU didn’t reject me last year and install this fear of a 2nd rejection in me.
My point is, this past week I’ve been brushing up my rough cover letter template and polishing my resume. (I finally took out all the trivial tutoring/teaching jobs that I’ve once been so proud of, since who the fuck cares if you’ve been teaching for the past 6 years when you’re not even seeking a career in education?) I also got my recommendation letter from HK Magazine, which I’m still in shock about, since 1) I never worked in marketing, and 2) I sort of quit by just stopping to show up one day. Yay for networking! Now the only thing left for me to do is to search the millions of job advertising websites and mass emailing out my information. Ugh. I really hope I get a concrete response from Weber Shandwick about needing someone. I NEED MY MONEH!
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Grammar Fascism.
Ever since I was a kid, things like misspelling have always just popped out at me without me even having to make a conscious effort to notice them. Even now, I often find myself stopping in the middle of an article just to make note of a typo, or just involuntarily editing a friend’s spelling error while reading through their essay. Needless to say, I am pretty damn anal-retentive when it comes to grammar, if you haven’t already noticed from previous entries. I think a big part of it might have to do with my OCPD, but maybe I’m just faithful to the English language, har har.
Anyway, here are a bunch of things off the top of my head that get on my nerves:
- “more (adjective)-er”; e.g. more stronger [inspiration thanks to my yoga instructor]
- confusing past tense verbs with present/future tense; e.g. she eating the cake tomorrow. ARGH
- confusing singular nouns with plural (e.g. 2 peoples)
- “more better”
- incorrect usage of you’re v.s. your
- they’re v.s. their v.s. there
- its v.s. it’s
- lose v.s. loose
- grammar v.s. grammer
- separate v.s. seperate
- definitely v.s. definately
- typos, period.
Stay tuned for a follow-up entry, cause there will be one.
Filed under: Language, Rants | 1 Comment
Tags: bad English, English, grammar, Pet Peeves, spelling, typos
Rewind.
Every now and then, my mind likes to play a little game with me where it rewinds fragments of my memory and plays it frame by frame, detail by detail, like some sort of twisted motion picture.. and I feel my heart break all over again.
When will you truly heal?
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Pet Peeve #5
People who send webcam invites without even a word of consent. They just say hi, halfheartedly ask how you’re (or I’m, rather) doing, and WHAMBAM -
[INSERT NAME] is inviting you to start sending webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
Hell no. Especially when I hardly even talk to you on a normal basis. Who do you think you are? Saying “nice display pic you got there” is not a legit excuse to expect me to show you my undeniable sexiness. HAHA I kid, I kid. But you get my drift.
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